Sincerely, Anonymous

Updated: Dec 4, 2020

When I was 13 years old, I was taking a shower. I was at home with my 17 year old brother and my 9 year old brother while our mother was at work. My older brother came into the bathroom with a large inflatable toy dolphin I had and tossed it into the shower, in a playful way. About five minutes later, he came back into the bathroom and pulled me out of the shower, saying he wanted to wrestle. I was nude.

I expressed my discomfort, begging to go get dressed or get my towel. He pinned me to the floor and tried to put me in a headlock. He said this: "You just need to get more comfortable with your body!" He had an erection the whole time. He later enlisted and we never spoke about it again. I never told my parents.

After this incident, I became paranoid about people walking in on me while I'm showering. I became even more uncomfortable with my body, so much so that I wanted to transition from female to male and developed an eating disorder. I became very aware of the way I dressed and never dressed provocatively. I wore men's clothing and shaved my head, and went by a boys name. I began having nightmares. My anxiety skyrocketed and I started feeling very depressed. I finally, my senior year of high school, was able to forgive him and mentally move on. I can't ever tell my mother because she wouldn't believe me and it would destroy her perception of her son.

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